Saturday, May 17, 2014

Weakened state

Fair warning, I'm gonna whine for a second.
 I know I'm
Supposed to take it easy and heal myself, but today it is really hitting me how much I hate to just lie around and do nothing.
 I know it's what my body needs, but I'm not happy about it. I just am so weak I can barely function. This is what it's come down to, and im a lil irritated.
Cancer is very inconvenient.
Part of me was thrilled at first, lounging on the couch catching up on all the Breaking Bad episodes that my son says I need to watch.
 I never watch t.v. So it was a treat, but I'm over it.
I hate being on the inside looking out at blue skies and a garden that needs tending.
A lawn that has to be mowed, and a life that needs to be lived.
I missed a party tonight, and a church function that some random stranger invited me to.
 A woman I don't know came up to me in the grocery store and hugged me after seeing my bald head, and wanting to know my story.  She was bald too. But hers was by choice.
She told me Jesus had a miracle for me and that I should come to her church.
Random things like his happen to me, and I find them amazing, especially since 
I don't even go to church. I guess this is what happens when you are open to the world, and like people.
 I'm not happy that I'm  missing her event, but I'm gonna try again tomorrow. 
Because that's all you can do, is try again for tomorrow, and from the way she looked at me and held me tight, I'm thinking I probably shouldn't miss tomorrow morning's church function.
So for today, I will whine and gripe a little bit,  At least I cleaned my slipcovers and trimmed some lilacs, this house smells amazing, and tank has someone to spoon.
That is a good thing...,and I guess I'll take it. :)