I wish I could tell you the truth...

 but truth is I can't just yet.....I kind of lost my voice,  and I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm trying to get my rusty brain wrapped around the concept of getting back to blogging on a regular basis again.
  For awhile there I was kind of burnt out on it.
 It takes time,  sometimes hours, and when you are running around feeling like you are doing nothing but spinning in circles, trying to make a dime,  writing about what you made, or ate,  or what your kids did seems so silly in a world full of more important things.
 I honestly became jaded.  
Seeing people taking pictures of their feet,  or what they ate for breakfast.... endless pictures of cups of coffee with foam hearts in it,  or artwork with wings on it drove me crazy.
  I deleted everything in a fit of irritation,  instagram,  pinterest, etc.
  I just wanted to hide.
 I felt like a dinosaur in a new world.  
I was too tired to figure out links about adding buttons,  or creating new templates to make my tired old blog look good.  I was busy living a hectic life,  and trying to eek out a living on my own making Art in a new and complicated world!
but that was stupid of me.
those places inspire you,  and I need that,  now more than ever.
So here I am trying to re-frame that thinking...  This Video That my friend posted kind of helped me think this way..........because it's these silly little things that add up to the big things in life......it's taking time out to appreciate where you are,  and what you are doing,  and maybe I should share more even though at times I feel so self centered doing so. 
  In the past it was my honesty that made people feel comfortable here.  The fact that we all commiserated about certain things,  creating art,  feeling rushed in a wild world,  dealing with kids, and relationships.
it's good to connect....
 Maybe you feel the same way as me,  who knows.....but this is where I am at.
at the bottom of a mountain looking up......hoping my voice comes back....
so here is peek into my world for now.......i'll reveal more maybe at some point but for now this is what i've been up to...
   TOday I worked on a new website that I will be filling up in the coming weeks......
my domain will change over to the redshoeshomegoods one like it was before,  it will just look differently...
you can take a preliminary look at it here...... and tell me what you think!
links to my pinterest,  instagram,  facebook, tumblr and all that stuff is on there,  so you can follow me if you'd like.....
yup,  I'm figuring it out!  :)
and here's some pictures of things I've been working on as well,  and some things that Fiona has been making too...she's always an inspiration,  one of these days,  she'll have her own blog because that girl will never loose her voice, that's for darn sure!

Paintings, and mixed media pieces that are for sale on my Etsy site,  yes,  I now have one of those too....luminaries that my daughter and I made for festifool's Fool moon event,  and dolls my child is working on for the upcoming kids Art fair in July!  
I may be quiet over here,  but I am working my tail off behind the scenes (i wish it was literally,  but that's a whole other story)
so on that note,  I am off to work on more web related content.
i'm on a roll,  and for now,  i'm gonna go with it.
thanks for visiting, and thank you so much for all of your kind words regarding my beloved Pearl,
it meant alot to me,  please know that.
XOXOXO


 

My Pearl.......

I said goodbye to my beloved Pearl  this Saturday.   It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I will most likely regret it for the rest of my life,  but that is my own pain that I will have to deal with and come to terms with one day.  I think I made the right decision,  but I'll never know for sure.

 She was a most complicated dog.  she kind of started out in life being a dog that no one wanted.   The only white dog in the litter,  she was the last Jack Russell left when I came to get her,  and I knew she was the one for me.

She had a fiery personality from day one,  but that's the way those dogs are.  I had a Jack Russell before,  so I knew what I was getting into.  They are incredibly smart, tenacious and wild dogs meant for working.  Terriers don't mess around.  they have a JOB to do.  Her job was to be with our family

and that's how it was.    She instantly bonded to my kids.  and was incredibly tolerant.

                                     
                                    Always by my Fiona's side in every picture I have.......

Dealing with Fiona's goofball style,  the dog was pretty darn patient.

She was even patient when we brought a new tiny dog into the house.  

When you bring a squirrel sized dog into a home with a terrier,  you KNOW that terrier has some serious self control.

    She would come to the studio with me on occasion,  but honestly,  even though she was patient for the most part,  she was incredibly un predictable from day one.    SHe liked just about everyone she met,  except for cat people.   she could smell them from a mile around,  and out of no where she would go into attack mode....so having her at the shop no longer was an option.   She was only allowed there after hours.  but that was o.k.,  I loved the company.   She was always good company........curling up with us in the bed in the evening,  never wanting to be away from her people.

     The most LOYAL dog EVER.      she slept by my side every night without fail.

  She inspired Art work because she was a clown.

 
      She had her serious side too........always seemed to be thinking about something,  but would let you hug her no matter how deep in thought she was.

You'd talk to her and you'd SWEAR she understood every darn thing you said,  however  if you called for her to "COME"  she'd pretend you we're speaking Chinese,  and never ever would.  

Unless of course you said "cheese",  then she'd be there on the dime.

She had some serious OCD issues when it came to her ball.

you couldn't even take a shower in peace,  or have people over to the house without her barking RELENTLESSLY for you to throw it for her.   it seriously was insane at times.

               
             She was the most loving and loyal dog,  but she was also very,  very fierce.    She was aggressive and grouchy from day one........

   The face of an angel,

                                                                  with the heart of a lion.

but even though she was kind of shitty at times...o.k.,  aLOT of the times,   she was always there for you when YOU felt crappy, dog spooning was her specialty.

or sitting on laps...she was the best late night studio companion,  and gardening buddy.......never ever once dug holes in the yard,  a TRUE miracle coming from a terrier.

  She used to like to tuck herself in between my legs for no apparent reason.

and would sit on Fiona's lap every time she sat on the floor to tie her shoes.

                                         

She was a faithful companion and buddy who we will always remember, and love.

It was an incredibly hard decision for me to make to let her go.  but in the end,  after 9 years of living with her quirks........ the biting,  the barking.....  well  the naughty behavior had started to escalate.

She was no longer herself.

Maybe it was going from a home to a tiny downtown apartment that had her frustrated,  or maybe something else.  I'll never know.    BUt I do know that she had changed.

she was no longer the naughty dog that we forever excused for her transgressions but had become a very scary and unpredictable dog that was attacking out of the blue.

She was posturing in ways that weren't normal.   she had attacked Tank on NUMEROUS occasions,  one week it was every day.    biting my kids, and me out of the blue had become a regular thing.    She had a large tumor growing on her chest,  and most days had the tremors,  so in my heart of hearts  I think there was something neurological going on,  and what I did by putting her to sleep was the most humane thing to do.

At least that's what the vet,  the humane society,  and all of the rescue groups told me.  I had so many friends tell me to try and talk to behaviorists and explore other options,  but honestly,  I couldn't afford that,  and the risk of having her bite my kids was now very real.  I would never have felt good about having her go to another home because she loved US,  and that would have broken her heart,  not to mention expose a new family to a dog with a long history of problems that only we understood and forgave.  

   I only hope that she forgives me, 

 My hope is that she is sitting somewhere peaceful looking out the window,  or running free in some field chasing a ball and having the time of her life.

I will miss her forever.

I loved her beyond measure.

and that is the true story.

you will forever be my girl

xoxoxoxoxo